this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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