so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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