The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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