Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
