that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.