He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
