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I hate your face
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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