I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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