I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
