We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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