He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
