Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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