I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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