you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
