Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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