Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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