i don't like sucking hair
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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