Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's great music for shaving your balls
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
