Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
