he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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