we have officially lost it.
Say something about gay babies.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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