I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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