If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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