Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
