Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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