I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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