just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
