At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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