Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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