Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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