Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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