Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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