Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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