Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
