that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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