It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
