If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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