We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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