he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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