im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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