The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
