Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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