That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
