In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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