Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
