I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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