JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
