how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16