I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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