I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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