Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
