There was a lot of him and a little penis
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
