I think im going to throw up on grandma
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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