She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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