I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
