I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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