Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize