im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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