i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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