why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
