Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
