I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
