So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
